im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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