Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
