he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
my liver is dry heaving
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
