If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
