Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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