everyone is single if you try hard enough
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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