I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
