So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
