maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
