dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
