I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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