Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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