Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
