Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
