Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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