you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
