dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i dont even know how to be here
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
