Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Randomize
