What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
