Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
3 2 1 whiskey
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
