And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
