okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
