I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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