Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
