I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize