I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize