Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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