maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
