I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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