There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
