Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
