On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize