Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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