i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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