btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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