I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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