Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
