I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
