Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
