I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
