Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize