ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
