I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize