Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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