We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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