make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize