i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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