I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I had to cum in my sink.
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