she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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