I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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