Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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