He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
