he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
