Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
