It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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