I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
