not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
