is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
