I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
