nut hugger
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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