The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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