Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
