I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
A+ Viking dick
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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