I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
