In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
